lightning mcqueen and the look-a-likes

if you call me past 7pm, this is how the conversation will go.

what are you doing?
looking for lightning mcqueen.
don't you have over 20 lighting mcqueens?
yes, but we are looking for a very specific one...the red one.
aren't they all red?
yes, but different shades of red..and ummm, no we have a blue one too.
which shade of red?
the real red.
what is real red?
you know, the non-burgundy red.
aren't most of them the non-burgundy red?
yes, but we are looking for the one that does not have his tongue sticking out, does not have tires on his eyes, does not have fake dirt on his tires, does not have a missing wheel and does not have a plant on his hood
aren't most of them just plain red?
yes but i am looking for the one with the yellow lightning
don't they all have yellow lightning?
no, some have gold...and we need the yellow. i have to go, i need to go beat my head against the wall now.