brody's daddy came home today. truth is he came home last night, but i didn't know until today. he is back in kc for good and will have brody 2 nights a week from now on. happy for brody, happy for his dad...happy the long stretch of brody asking for him is coming to an end.
it was easier to take all of the toys when we moved vs picking and choosing...knowing i eventually would give 1/2 of them back to his daddy.
so today, i am doing just that. sorting through his toys and packing up what will be sent to his dad's. i am not ready to let his toys go. i am not ready to not have him 2 nights a week. i am not ready for his daddy to be back home. not there yet. not yet.
Jun 14, 2009
Jun 13, 2009
handygirl
brody earned a potty prize this weekend for being accident free (ahem, minus a few accidents). he said he needed a car like baby logyn's so off we went to find one.
it's plastic, can't be that hard to build. empty the box.
there are screws and bolts. crap.
and the instructions were as easy to understand as a molecular map. this was page 1 of 3. 29 total steps.
and my helper insisted on sitting in it the entire time.
nearly done. the front wheel won't move, side door won't fit...and i am not sure what happened to the roof but it eventually fell on his head.
finished. ok, truth is i am still trying to figure out what i did wrong. until then, he loves it.
it's plastic, can't be that hard to build. empty the box.
there are screws and bolts. crap.
and the instructions were as easy to understand as a molecular map. this was page 1 of 3. 29 total steps.
and my helper insisted on sitting in it the entire time.
nearly done. the front wheel won't move, side door won't fit...and i am not sure what happened to the roof but it eventually fell on his head.
finished. ok, truth is i am still trying to figure out what i did wrong. until then, he loves it.Jun 12, 2009
Jun 9, 2009
dear god, we have caller id down here now
i wish he would have called me too. i have some things i need to talk to him about.
my men
i have a handful of men in my life that are very protective of me. my brother-n-law would drop anything to help me-always has, my good friend checks on me & jokes with me daily-i always know he is there whether it is via facebook, email or a quick phone call, my dad is my silent protector and would pull his shotgun if you hurt me- seriously, and my brother who has his own struggles to deal with but always reminds me that i am loved...
the most protective man in my life, however, is only 2 years old. he is old enough to understand that it is just him and i now. he is old enough to know he is the man of the house. and he is old enough to take on the role of protecting his momma.
it began a couple of months ago. at the pool- don't splash my mommy!, at the grocery store-don't run into my mommy!, at home-jack, don't run over my mommy's head!, at daycare-noooo, that is my mommy!...and it always ends with 'are you ok mommy, are you ok!?'.
so this morning i drop the cell phone on my foot...man it hurt...but i held in the cussing and sat on the floor while the pain subsided....here comes brody, 'are you ok mommy!!!??'...then a rub of my forehead, a kiss on my foot, and he put the cell phone in a time-out. we get to school and he won't let go...hanging on to me with a choke hold. ms clara says 'brody, who are you foolin'...why won't you let go of your momma?'. my protective boy says 'the cell phone hurt her, my mommy is hurt'.
i love him.
the most protective man in my life, however, is only 2 years old. he is old enough to understand that it is just him and i now. he is old enough to know he is the man of the house. and he is old enough to take on the role of protecting his momma.
it began a couple of months ago. at the pool- don't splash my mommy!, at the grocery store-don't run into my mommy!, at home-jack, don't run over my mommy's head!, at daycare-noooo, that is my mommy!...and it always ends with 'are you ok mommy, are you ok!?'.
so this morning i drop the cell phone on my foot...man it hurt...but i held in the cussing and sat on the floor while the pain subsided....here comes brody, 'are you ok mommy!!!??'...then a rub of my forehead, a kiss on my foot, and he put the cell phone in a time-out. we get to school and he won't let go...hanging on to me with a choke hold. ms clara says 'brody, who are you foolin'...why won't you let go of your momma?'. my protective boy says 'the cell phone hurt her, my mommy is hurt'.
i love him.
Jun 8, 2009
May 29, 2009
friendship
my dear friend. i just adore her. i haven't seen her in months as she has been battling breast cancer. i ran into her this morning getting coffee and was welcomed with a big, warm hug. a much needed hug and some giggles. something about her draws us all to her. she is full of life, stories & laughter. true to her personality she was more worried about me than herself.
as i walked back to my desk, i couldn't help but think of all the strong women i have in my life. the women that circle around you, protect you and keep you from falling apart. the women that are brutally honest and hide nothing from you knowing there is no judgement in friendship. the women that are going through their own unheard of hardships but focus on you instead. the women that are full of wisdom, advice and love. and the women, like my friend today, that have no idea that simply seeing them for a few minutes is sometimes all you need.
as i walked back to my desk, i couldn't help but think of all the strong women i have in my life. the women that circle around you, protect you and keep you from falling apart. the women that are brutally honest and hide nothing from you knowing there is no judgement in friendship. the women that are going through their own unheard of hardships but focus on you instead. the women that are full of wisdom, advice and love. and the women, like my friend today, that have no idea that simply seeing them for a few minutes is sometimes all you need.
May 27, 2009
where are they
my overprotective brother-n-law told me no more boob talk in my blog, so this will be the last. sorry, johnny.
i stole some of my ex's t-shirts when i moved out. this was the only manipulative thing i have done...although, manipulative nonetheless. they are so big and soft, perfect for sleeping. so i grabbed a few of the softest ones and hid them in a drawer until i moved out. eventually i will get caught and he will want them back but until then, if you come by my house after 8pm, this is usually what i am wearing- sad, i know.
so tonight, i was wearing one of my xxl, soft t-shirts. as i was reading to brody, his eyes got really big, his hand went over his mouth...
mommy! where are your boobs?!!
ummm, what?? they are right there brody.
where??!!
right there!
no, they're gone! mommy, they're gone!
they are under my shirt honey.
let me see.
NO! stop talking about mommy's boobs, brody.
i want to play hide & seek mommy.
OK.
i am a dinosaur.
OK.
the dinosaur is going to get your boobs.
unfortunately, his teachers will get the 2 year old version of this story tomorrow. oh what they must think of me.
i stole some of my ex's t-shirts when i moved out. this was the only manipulative thing i have done...although, manipulative nonetheless. they are so big and soft, perfect for sleeping. so i grabbed a few of the softest ones and hid them in a drawer until i moved out. eventually i will get caught and he will want them back but until then, if you come by my house after 8pm, this is usually what i am wearing- sad, i know.
so tonight, i was wearing one of my xxl, soft t-shirts. as i was reading to brody, his eyes got really big, his hand went over his mouth...
mommy! where are your boobs?!!
ummm, what?? they are right there brody.
where??!!
right there!
no, they're gone! mommy, they're gone!
they are under my shirt honey.
let me see.
NO! stop talking about mommy's boobs, brody.
i want to play hide & seek mommy.
OK.
i am a dinosaur.
OK.
the dinosaur is going to get your boobs.
unfortunately, his teachers will get the 2 year old version of this story tomorrow. oh what they must think of me.
May 24, 2009
stages
my friend suggested to read thru the 7 stages of grieving for anyone going thru a divorce. evidently the stages are the same for divorce as they are for death. she was right, i was going thru them. each and every one of them, back & forth. completely normal.
i have been hitting all of the stages like clockwork & parallel to each other; shock- yep, lasted 6 months, pain & guilt- yep, hit me hard 6 months later, anger-yep, this one hit me long before i moved out and has never left, loneliness-always, upward turn-already there, reconstruction- made it through, acceptance & hope- there.
the stages gave me permission to cry, to be mad, to be content, to be lonely, to be happy and to go back & forth as much as needed. i am healing and i am at the end.
i have been hitting all of the stages like clockwork & parallel to each other; shock- yep, lasted 6 months, pain & guilt- yep, hit me hard 6 months later, anger-yep, this one hit me long before i moved out and has never left, loneliness-always, upward turn-already there, reconstruction- made it through, acceptance & hope- there.
the stages gave me permission to cry, to be mad, to be content, to be lonely, to be happy and to go back & forth as much as needed. i am healing and i am at the end.
May 23, 2009
waiting
today i watched my child stand with his suitcase and wait and wait and wait. this side of you is painful.
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