flu

as if my life hasn't been frantic enough this month with leaving my old department that i loved, starting a new job, taking care of a 2 year old, mix in some travelling...i have now been tested with a weekend of the flu. brody was first to go, fri-sat. i thought i had dodged it but by sun it got me and i knew i was going to die.

i was sitting on the bathroom floor when i realized that i had no one to call for help...brody's daddy is over 3 hours away and my family is over 2 hours away...it was at that moment that brody saw his mommy cry for the first time. not a normal cry but a sobbing kind of cry that is usually reserved for funerals.

brody turns to me with the most sincere eyes, 'why you crying mommy?' assuming he wouldn't understand mommy is dying and i have no one to take care of you, i instead tell him mommy's belly hurts...he gives me a gentle hug, rubs my belly and sweetly says 'it is ok mommy.' the sobbing escalates as i realize this is a not-so-eloquent reminder of how much i love this boy.

now as if he hadn't had his share of puking himself, he wanted to puke with me. likely his way of making me feel less alone in my despair. he starts spitting in the toilet. i ask him to step back, mommy needs the toilet. he pushes my head away and puts his head over it, spit, push, spit...we do this a few times before he politely says 'mommy, you are not sharing the toilet.' puking and sobbing turn to laughter and i give him his turn.

kay