flu

as if my life hasn't been frantic enough this month with leaving my old department that i loved, starting a new job, taking care of a 2 year old, mix in some travelling...i have now been tested with a weekend of the flu. brody was first to go, fri-sat. i thought i had dodged it but by sun it got me and i knew i was going to die.

i was sitting on the bathroom floor when i realized that i had no one to call for help...brody's daddy is over 3 hours away and my family is over 2 hours away...it was at that moment that brody saw his mommy cry for the first time. not a normal cry but a sobbing kind of cry that is usually reserved for funerals.

brody turns to me with the most sincere eyes, 'why you crying mommy?' assuming he wouldn't understand mommy is dying and i have no one to take care of you, i instead tell him mommy's belly hurts...he gives me a gentle hug, rubs my belly and sweetly says 'it is ok mommy.' the sobbing escalates as i realize this is a not-so-eloquent reminder of how much i love this boy.

now as if he hadn't had his share of puking himself, he wanted to puke with me. likely his way of making me feel less alone in my despair. he starts spitting in the toilet. i ask him to step back, mommy needs the toilet. he pushes my head away and puts his head over it, spit, push, spit...we do this a few times before he politely says 'mommy, you are not sharing the toilet.' puking and sobbing turn to laughter and i give him his turn.

kay

a budding identity

as brody becomes more aware of his own identity, dress yourself day began this weekend. once a week, he gets to choose his own outfit. i am not allowed to help, not allowed to say no or second-guess him and most importantly, not allowed to laugh. it's his style, afterall.

here is week 1 of dress yourself day. sigh.

kay

driving

i am not a great driver. signs like this do not help.

lyrics

my happy today comes from stumbling upon a song (thanks to my cousin, darren) that could have been written by me...if only i knew how to write songs.

the song is very personal, but what the hell... happy listening-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPwwjywbgEs

matchy-match-match

i see it all the time, especially at work. lots of matching. matching sweaters, turtlenecks, dangle earrings, lapel pins, color-coordinated socks, perfectly shaped yet mysteriously immobile hair. it is very bothersome to me.

today though, i encountered it at the park in the form of a dad and his two boys. the dad suffering from an exaggerated sense of himself and the two boys unaware of the matchiness happening to them.

i heard him coming from the other side of the park. his voice and his laugh deep enough to match his ego. headed in our direction were 2 matching boys (maybe 5 and 8 yrs old) and 1 matching dad. stereotyping begins.

baby blue ralph lauren tees. khaki above-the-knee perfect fit shorts. white leather kicks with the matching ralph lauren logo. white socks.

i look around the park and realize how different these two boys are from all the other little boys. the others are dirty from head to toe. it's a park, they are supposed to be dirty. it's a rule. you are not allowed to be perfect at the park. you are not allowed to match.

i see drugs in the future of these two boys.

kay

no talking

my funny today...no explanation needed. it's just funny. and sadly, very real.

a mess of green

st pat's day today. i forgot. panic sets in at 6am. green...i hate green, i have nothing green for brody. now i know he won't actually be pinched, selfishly though i don't want to be the jackass mom that takes her kid to school in the wrong color. grab the gap bag full of new clothes that i have yet to actually remove from the bag...dig dig dig...thank god, there is a tee with a green dinosaur. whew.

refuses to wear the dinosaur tee. it's scary. not wearing it. we go to school in red. he's the only kid in red. of course he is, all the other mommies remembered.

at this point, i realize all the other mommies also have treats in tow...green kids and treats. panic sets in again at 8am. stupid question, is the party today? yes, 3pm. shit.

get to hallmark and thankfully the cafe has made st pat's cookies for mommies like me...grab some cookies and green balloons and make my way back to school. sneak in the classroom trying to not be seen...plan is to drop off and run.

instead i hear...'brody's mommy, are those latex balloons?'... then comes the pitter patter of 16 children running my way...BALLOONS, BALLOONS, MOMMY, MOMMY!...and finally 'brody's mommy, we can't have latex balloons in here'.

walk out the door (balloons & i) leaving behind 16 bawling children. 15 screaming for balloons, 1 screaming for his mommy.

next year, i will remember st pat's day.

~kay

my mommy has boobs

largest possible number of words that brody can put together in a sentence--4. he rarely does it. usually 2-3 at most. today though, he decided to tell sam's daddy 'my mommy has boobs'. 4 words. not the combo of choice, but 4 words nonetheless.

in all likelihood, sam's daddy probably knows that mommies have boobs...in the slight possibility that he didn't, he certainly does now that brody yanked down my shirt, pointing 'look, down there'. 3 words.

although slightly embarrassed but not shaken, i assume the boob talk is over.

walk out the front door with many other parents as you can imagine...police officer says to brody as he does nightly 'see ya, kid'. brody's response? 'sam's daddy, my mommy's boobs'. 5 words.

now although i am proud of him for saying his first 5 word full sentence, there was a very important mid-section missing. sam's daddy (did what to) your mommy's boobs?

i am just thankful that i never see sam's mommy. chances are i will now.

~kay

nemo

not a lot of color today...it's cold & rainy. daylight savings has confused me...gain an hour, lose an hour--i can't keep it straight.

i did manage to sneak in some funny though. even on rainy days, i can always count on my homeless man to make me smile.

since brody & i moved, we have taken a new route to & from work everyday...down ward parkway, thru the plaza...every night on the corner of jc nichols & ward, we see the same homeless guy, same time, same place. we named him nemo. when the timing is that of perfect awkwardness, i have given him a few dollars-- awkward being you are in the lane beside him, side by side, hit the red light and think 'shit, now what?'.

i have seen him so many times now that i have his sign memorized...cardboard cutout in black sharpie--ANYTHING WILL HELP, GOD BLESS YOU-- i always stare at it bc it is in female handwriting and it makes me wonder about his life, his family. if he could re-write his history would he? or is he exactly where he wants to be? more importantly, who gave him a sharpie?

right now you are wondering why this is funny. i am getting there.

so today, like any other day, brody & i drive by our homeless guy...i end up in the lane beside him, hit the red light--of course i did. innocent brody sweetly yells 'hi nemo' & waves...thankfully nemo never actually hears him..so we waved, he waved-it's our thing, our way of saying we are going to see each other at this stop everynight for a long time, let's just wave and get it over with. only tonight was different. tonight i got to see another side of nemo. i noticed he was watching the car behind us. why isn't he waving at us? what's wrong with nemo?

then it happens. he flips his sign. the normal sweet GOD BLESS YOU sign magically transformed into a ROT IN HELL sign. it was genius and i now have a new appreciation for nemo.

~kay

my happy, my funny

this week began with the worst toddler fit on record during a friday night trip to the grocery store...after a quick run-through in the child buggy cart, brody decided he was not getting out. this was a 10 min tug of war until finally i yank him out...get to the park lot & he wiggled right out of my arms (after a few bites & punches)...in a split second he was crawling on all fours in front of a moving car...drop the bags, my purse and franctically run after him, an onlooker runs after him, car screeches to a stop. another onlooker grabs my stuff and luckily waits for me instead of stealing it, they help me get him into the car, he jumps in the front seat and has a stand-off with me on the front floor board. we finally get home and i tell him he was a bad boy. his response is "it was fun". after a few glasses of wine, i thought it was fun too.

a man in his 70s came over to talk to brody & i at the park. he seemed harmless so we chit chat...weather, the kids, etc. next thing i know he has invited us over to his house to see the new harry potter room that he built in his basement. now i know most old men are harmless so i am choosing to believe he really does have a harry potter room in his basement...for his grandkids, maybe? as cute as it may be, we will not be finding out firsthand. crazy old man.

and i end the week on a bit of happy, as i just saw the joy on a toddler's face as he had his first taste of m&ms. mostly happy mixed with some complications, as he now refuses to take a nap.