Apr 23, 2009

spidery crickets


camel cricket. the official name of the spidery cricket that attacked me the other night. i had just put a load of clothes in the dryer and was on my way back upstairs. it is a plain, concrete basement with steep stairs so i always leave brody upstairs and go down alone. now if you know me pretty well, then you know i am deathly afraid of ghosts...so when i do laundry down there i do it as quickly as possible and race back up the stairs before anything can get me.

shut the door to the dryer and am about to start my sprint back up when i notice a big spider. i am sort of afraid of spiders but i will kill them...i don't run and scream bc i know they are more scared of me...so i just smash them. done. i walk towards it, he sort of blends into the concrete floor and the closer i get the bigger he gets...i bend down and the goddamn thing jumped on me. before i could even get a scream out, i was spinning in circles trying to swipe him off of me.

he is back on the floor, still alive. i run to the other side of the basement to get away from him. i either have to kill him or never go into the basement again. i look for something to kill him with. problem is there isn't much in my basement- a washer, a dryer and a few paint cans...first two are too heavy so i settle for the paint can.

walk towards the spidery cricket, he is just sitting there staring at me...waiting, taunting me. i bend down to smash him and he chases me...the goddamn thing started chasing me...i run, scream, cry, scream, jump, scream...we do this back and forth a few times before i finally win and crush him to death with the paint can.
i would much prefer a haunted basement than one full of killer crickets.

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