halloween

it's 4pm. halloween night. i've been trying to bathe and dress brody for over an hour. he says there is no way he's going trick-or-treating.

so here we sit. waiting for other trick-or-treaters to come to our house instead. and he is naked. so that will be awkward.

boo

i may have screwed up st pat's day..but i am not screwing up halloween. check out my spoooooky cupcakes for lil man's school party. i got this mommy stuff down.

hidden treasures

LOOK at what i found in our garage. a hidden lil treasure buried under paint cans. it made me giggle on the inside.

and see the broken shelf? i fixed it. on my own. with a hammer and nails. i'm awesome.

sick.again.

i have a very sick boy on my hands this weekend. he has been docile since 2am, nothing more than whimpers out of him. tonight though he managed to tell me that his cardinals hat would make him feel better. sorry kc friends. you're welcome family.

it will be a long weekend of stir-craziness again. wish my baby well.

ps- see all that hair coming out of his hat? he told me he wants hair like a skateboarder. in the spirit of letting him have his own identity, we have been letting it grow. oh my.

poem

this poem has been haunting me. i am itching to re-write it. gasp.

i should learn to enjoy the original. to have an appreciation for poems that seek me out and stalk me.

i do love it. i secretly love it.

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you
all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,
the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

love

Jana + Billy Engagement from IRIS AND LIGHT on Vimeo.

i love them.
i love that they hold hands.
i love her kick ass boots.
i love his simpleness.
i love her ring. coming from a hater of all engagement rings.
i love that they make each other laugh.
i actually want them to get married. there is hope for me.
did i say that i love them?

sticky fingers

my sidekick and i are home all weekend. not stepping foot out of this house unless it's an emergency. we have had a pitifully sick week and need a weekend of recovery time. a weekend of cuddles. of cold medicine. of movies. of hot cocoa. of fall candles.

at our house, sick means snack on whatever makes you feel better. his choice has been doritos. fa-ridos, so says brody. 1 large family size bag purchased yesterday. gone.

he doesn't like sticky fingers. and this is a problem when you eat a family size bag of fa-ridos.

every few bites i have to clean his hands. it's unheard of. when i tell him to lick his fingers, he says huh?. lick your fingers. huh? lick them! huh?!

he isn't old enough to have peanut m&ms yet. but when he is...if he doesn't know how to eat them? well, then he can't be mine.

lonely

i am not ready for my loneliness to go away.

i thought i wanted it to go away. but i need it.

i am going to need it for awhile. a little while longer.

3 quick years

tempting.

tempted.

busted.

compliments

in a complimentary voice, brody told me that i have the biggest butt of any mommy he has ever seen. then he shot me with a nerf gun.

school clothes

when i picked brody up from school on friday, his teacher handed me a pair of his pajamas.

puzzled, i asked how she got them.

she says he wore them to school. under his normal clothes.

oh god. please tell me his dad is the guilty one.

nope. it was me.

how is it that i dressed my child and forgot to remove his pajamas first?

bowling

i am still in a bit of a struggle to get the rest of my furniture back.

until then, we made a bowling alley in our front room. i am now indeed the coolest mommy ever.

cars

he doesn't have enough cars, so says brody.

i lined them up thinking a visual would help him understand.

it didn't work.

his response? see, mommy, i don't have enough.

october

only 7 days into october and it has proven to be the worst month thus far.

7 days of kicks. everyday. and they aren't even tiny, annoying little kicks. they are full on kick me in the gut as hard as you can kind of kicks.

i'm gonna start kicking back.

money fairy

the money fairy visited me twice this week. again.

check #1: $10 from an overpayment on a closed account
check #2: $45 from car-max

i want to believe that i am simply a lucky person that gets free money in the mail.

likely though, i am a naive person that just overpays everyone.

gravity

a little guy fell on the soccer field today. not one of the big kids (ahem, 3 year olds) but a baby brother trying to keep up.

sweet brody stops playing and runs over to him...

brody: are you ok?
baby's dad: he's fine, it's gravity
brody: oh, are you ok gravity?

he makes me laugh. he melts my heart.

names